DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
