I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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