Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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