Your face is a jimmy john
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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