I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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