just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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