The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
