There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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