Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
false alarm, still single
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
