You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
