I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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