Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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