Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We are all done wearing pants today
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
