Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We need to get me chipped asap
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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