he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Your penis caused this!
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