I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
