so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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