i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
