I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
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