remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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