well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
