Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
