He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
