Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
