Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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