you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I think your dad took our porno
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
