If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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