if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
