I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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