Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
