bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
