Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
