Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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