just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
