the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
They have beer where we have blood.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
