are you still at the devil's house?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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