Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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