And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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