yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
