sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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