I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
