You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
