you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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