As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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