look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
