I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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