I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
im six kinds of drunk right now
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
