I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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