sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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