You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
operation harelip BJ is a go
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
