i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
