On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
