Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
