there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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