yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize