You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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