Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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