my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
