she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
