u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize